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| Thoughts on Helping Out ~ Become (Truly) Unselfish | << Prev | Entry 10 of 10 |
"Love your neighbor as yourself." Although this one is biblical in origin, similar directives can be found in other religious texts. Simple and universal as they are, putting such words into practice is difficult and all too rare. It's the latter part of the phrase that is particularly challenging. How many of us even come close to loving our neighbors as ourselves? Many of us, I think, believe we act unselfishly. Yet much of the time it seems our motivations are in reality self-serving. "Good works," for example, are often performed with selfish reasons in mind. Our major religions are at least partially responsible. In Buddhism and Hinduism, one performs good works to gain better circumstances in the next life; in Christianity and Islam, good works are sometimes seen as a ticket to rewards in the afterlife. While good works performed with such goals in mind are not bad, I'd propose that we not consider them entirely unselfish. At times, we perform good works to benefit ourselves. To act unselfishly, I believe, is to work for the benefit of others without expecting anything in return. You help your neighbors simply because you have their concerns in mind - and not because you hope they will treat you in kind when roles are reversed. That (your neighbor returning your acts of kindness) happens. It's a byproduct of unselfish living. But it shouldn't be the motivation that drives us to act. Many of us believe that by acting for the benefit of our children and immediate friends, we're acting unselfishly. At times we are, yet we sometimes miss that our families and friends often provide much in return: They love us back. If we're acting unselfishly, we ought to work for the benefit of total strangers. We will vote and act with our broader communities in mind - not only those we know and love. When I vote, do I consider the implications of my choices on people in other countries? If not, why not? I believe my choices do impact people in distant lands. If I'm acting unselfishly, should I not at least embrace this mode of reasoning? I am - if pressed - still going to err on the side of protecting my family members and immediate community first, but should I not at least consider what impact my choices may have on people in Alaska or Nigeria or Bangladesh? It's not easy to recognize that our actions are often selfish. To do so requires introspection and frank examination of our motives. We should learn to recognize and acknowledge those cases where we act with our own benefit in mind. We're human. We're never going to fully escape selfish tendencies (at least not permanently). Still, we should honestly examine our motives to ensure we're doing everything we can to consider others. In summary, here are a few thoughts about becoming unselfish in everyday life: - Stop on occasion to examine the motivation behind your actions. Are you generous with your time, money, concern? If so, why? What motivates you? Consider why you do what you do - and (if you're at all similar to me) you'll find that actions you felt were unselfish are sometimes motivated with selfish intent.
- Give of yourself expecting nothing in return.
- Be concerned about family and close friends. But move beyond such considerations as well. Consider strangers, people you don't even know.
- Sacrifice of yourself today for the benefit of others tomorrow.
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